


The Pull On My Flesh (Is Just Too Strong)

by AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate



Series: Sanders Sides Inktober 2018 [10]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Agender Logan, Angst, Blood, Crying, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, Witches, werewolf Logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 09:09:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16261094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate/pseuds/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate
Summary: It was the night of the full moon, and Logan was not doing too well. Things get heated, and someone ends up getting hurt. Can the others find them before it’s too late?Written for Inktober Day 10: Accident





	The Pull On My Flesh (Is Just Too Strong)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah… so, there’s blood, injuries, and a graphic depiction of a panic attack, along with a bit of body horror and some suicidal thoughts. If any of this will be triggering to you, please skip this. Your mental health and safety comes first. Anyway, if you’re continuing, thank you for reading, and on with the story!

It was Logan’s least favourite time of the month, and this time was worse than usual. Logan didn’t know what it was; maybe it was frustration with the fact that they still hadn’t found a cure, maybe it was because they hadn’t gotten much sleep lately, it might even be because they’d been itching to just  _ die  _ lately, but either way, this was so much worse than the usual Night. They felt on edge, angry, scared, sad, frustrated, gross,  _ wrong _ . They felt like lashing out, but always managed to crush down their negative emotions. Exploding would not help them in any way. It would only hurt their family more, and they didn’t want that because then they might abandon them and then he’d have nobody and then he’d be alone and there would be no one around to stop them from-

 

 

Logan cut off their internal ramble and tried to focus on breathing. They were on the verge of hyperventilating and their heart was beating at an extremely unhealthy speed and they just wanted this Night to be  _ over _ , they wanted to  _ relax _ and cuddle up on the couch with Thomas and Virgil and Patton with Roman making his famous hot chocolate that seemed to make all the worries of the world vanish before joining them in the cuddle pile. They wanted everything to just be  _ okay _ , but it couldn’t be until Logan was fixed. 

 

 

“Lo, I need you to calm down. You’re hyperventilating,” a voice broke through the storm of their thoughts. They felt a presence inching closer to them, and they frantically backed up because the new person was too close too close  _ too close _ . A burning hand rested on their shoulder, and suddenly Logan just  _ snapped _ . They whirled, claws extended because even if they needed to just  _ get out _ , they couldn’t risk biting. Their claws connected with something soft and squishy, but Logan didn’t care; they just needed to  _ get out _ . 

 

 

A pained yelp snapped Logan out of their internal tirade, and as their eyes focussed, they felt their brain jump right back into breakdown mode. Because that was Roman. Roman, who was clutching his right arm to his chest, blood dripping from the gashes that Logan’s claws had just scored through the delicate flesh. Roman, who was shaking from fright and blood loss because of Logan. Roman, who was still giving Logan a supportive, although weak, kind smile even though Logan had just almost  _ killed him _ . Logan took another step back, their legs shaking, before they turned around and bolted out the front door. They couldn’t stay, they couldn’t stay, they couldn’t stay and hurt anyone else they needed to get out and just  _ end it all _ . They ignored the panicked yelps, the cries for them to stop, and continued to run. This was what would be best for everyone. This way, no one else would get hurt.

* * *

 

“We need to stop them, they’re going to get hurt, we need to find them, we need to make sure they’re okay,” Virgil babbled, tugging at his hair with wide, panicked eyes. Patton wrapped the panicking healer in his arms, shushing him and soothing his worries to the best of his ability. Virgil’s hands tightened around Roman’s arm as he muttered as many healing spells as he could think of, and slowly but surely, Roman’s arm was perfectly fine again. With that, the fire mage stood, determination settling into his chiseled features. 

 

 

“We need to go find them,” Roman declared, grabbing his hat before storming towards the door. Virgil quickly followed, the point of his own hat flopping into his face as he moved. Thomas and Patton followed, worry flowing off of them and tangible to everyone, even those who weren’t empaths. And really, no one could or would blame anyone else; they were all worried about Logan. After all, it was the night of the full moon; who knew what Logan might do?

* * *

 

Running. They were running and running and running and all they knew was that they couldn’t stop, not for anything. Their breath was coming in sharp, short, uneven, intermittent bursts, and their heart felt like it was about to pound right out of their chest. Warm, wet tracks trailed down their cheeks, and pain was beginning to set deep into their bones. They knew what was coming; they knew they couldn’t stop it. All they could do was run and hope that no one else would get hurt. 

 

 

_ But it was just an accident _ , a small voice that sounded an awful lot like a certain cheerful blonde empath whispered.  _ They know that. They’re not mad at you; they’ll forgive you.  _

 

 

_ Are you kidding? Of course they won’t forgive you,  _ another voice called back, this one sounding almost exactly like their mother had.  _ You hurt Roman. You could have killed him, even. Why would they forgive you when obviously all you are is a danger to yourself and others?  _

 

 

They listened to the second voice, the warm wet tracks getting even warmer and even wetter as they ran. Branches whipped at their face, their arms, their legs, but they couldn’t find it in themself to care. They needed to put an end to everything. 

 

 

Finally, they skidded to a stop in a clearing in the middle of the dark forest. They dropped to their knees and let all of the emotions they’d been trying to suppress take over, flowing through them and out into the world. A small corner of their mind whispered that maybe it was because they wanted Patton to find them, but a large part of them ignored that one small whisper. Patton wouldn’t come in time. None of them would come in time. 

 

 

They felt the first part of the Shift, and shakily raised a hand to their eye level. The blue-painted nails were beginning to elongate into claws against their will, and a quick movement of the tongue confirmed that the teeth were beginning to grow and sharpen as well. They quickly shimmied out of their midnight blue flannel, not wanting to ruin Patton’s birthday gift, even though it wouldn’t matter in a few minutes, not if they got their way. Then they were left, shivering, in a black tank top, leggings, and shorts, their tall blue rain boots giving them a bit of extra traction as they paced around the clearing, waiting for the Shift to be completed. 

 

 

Their head was thrown back by the force of the second part of the Shift and they screamed, their bones snapping and contorting into a completely different skeletal structure, the muscles around them shifting to accommodate the new structure that was at once both alien and yet so, so familiar. They felt the fur begin to push through every follicle in their body, their organs rearranging, their body contorting even further, and they were suddenly driven to their knees by the pain and the force. Their eyesight sharpened to the point that their glasses were unnecessary, yet they still had the presence of mind to slip them off their face and place them gently on top of the flannel. Then, they curled up, a futile attempt to minimize the pain, and allowed the Wolf to take control.

* * *

 

“Logan? Logan!” Thomas yelled, sticking close to Roman’s fireball in order to not miss a single detail. They’d been searching for upwards of an hour now, and still no sign of his friend. Thomas tried to ignore the worry pooling in his gut, to no avail. Logan had run off in the throes of a panic attack when they’d already been having an extremely bad week. Heck, Thomas had had to hide every sharp object in the house, that’s how bad the week had been. The fact that he couldn’t find Logan now left a sour feeling in his gut, and he didn’t want to think about why. 

 

 

“Thomas! Roman! I found them!” Virgil’s voice suddenly screeched. The brothers’s heads whipped towards the sound and they took off running, both trying desperately to ignore the sick sinking in their guts. Virgil hadn’t sounded too happy; in fact, Virgil had sounded downright  _ terrified _ . Roman and Thomas burst onto the scene a minute later, out of breath and nervous. Thomas managed to calm down enough to assess the situation first, and when he did, his blood ran cold. 

 

 

The people in the surrounding towns absolutely hated werewolves, and as such had set traps for them each full moon. Logan was normally smart enough to avoid them, but apparently they hadn’t been too worried about it this time around. Logan, in full on wolf mode, was wrapped in what appeared to be enchanted barbed wire, probably made of silver if the burn marks in their black coat were any indication. Some of the wire, thankfully a portion without barbs, was wrapped tightly around their neck, restricting their breathing. Dark red blood pumped sluggishly from their wounds, and their blue eyes fluttered as if they were fighting unconsciousness. Virgil and Patton were already trying to untangle them, but they hadn’t appeared to have gotten very far yet. 

 

 

Thomas jumped into action, helping to untangle the wire while Roman went to work on keeping Logan calm while the others worked. Lingering signs of a panic attack permeated Logan’s eyes and body language, and Thomas’s heart physically hurt to see the fright and defeat in their blue eyes. The Logan Thomas knew was snarky, spit-fire, not taking shit from anyone, always ready to help with whatever they possibly could. This Logan, though, this Logan Thomas didn’t know at all. And yet, Thomas thought as he unwound the wire around Logan’s neck, he did. This is the Logan who had appeared more and more in recent months, the Logan who showed up whenever there was an anti-werewolf demonstration in town or when the full moon began to draw closer. This is the Logan, Thomas realized with a start, that came with the wolf. And this was the Logan that Thomas desperately wanted to help. 

 

 

“Come on, Lolo, you can do it. I just need you to calm down so you can shift back, okay?” Roman soothed, gently running a hand through the thick black fur around Logan’s neck. Logan whimpered, and Roman just shushed them again, offering as much comfort as he could muster in the moment. Finally, after what seemed like hours but in reality was only fifteen minutes, they had gotten Logan untangled, and Virgil sent to work healing them up. Logan shifted back to human form about halfway through, shaking in fear and pain and refusing to meet any of their eyes. They mumbled something under their breath, and Thomas raised an eyebrow, confused. 

 

 

“Sorry, Lo, we didn’t catch that. Mind repeating yourself?” Patton asked, handing over Logan’s dark blue flannel and glasses (where had he gotten those, Thomas briefly wondered). 

 

 

“I said, you should have just let the trap finish me off,” Logan repeated, their voice choked. Patton and Virgil both immediately jumped forward to wrap their friend in a hug, and Roman and Thomas looked at each other in confusion. 

 

 

“Mind telling us why, Lo?” Roman asked gently, his normally boisterous voice soft. 

 

 

“I- I hurt you,” Logan stammered out, refusing to meet Roman’s eye. Roman’s red eyes narrowed before he stalked forward. Logan shrunk back, but froze yet again as Roman wrapped them in a hug. 

 

 

“Logan. It’s fine. I’m fine. None of us are mad.” Tears started to stream down Logan’s cheeks, mixing with the small drops of blood welling up from long, thin cuts across their cheeks. Thomas quickly joined in the hug, allowing Logan to bury their face in his shoulder. He rubbed a soothing hand up and down Logan’s back, muttering reassurances and promises. They stayed like that until the sun began to peak above the trees, and they all stood, Virgil and Thomas supporting most of Logan’s weight and Virgil pumped healing magic into them. As they walked back, Thomas heard Virgil lean over and murmur something into Logan’s ear, a truth that Thomas knew all of them were thinking. 

 

 

“It’s okay, Lo, we’re going to deal with this. It wasn’t your fault. It was just an accident.” 

**Author's Note:**

> So... the longest piece I've written for Inktober is also the darkest... correlation?? Maybe.
> 
> Anyway, thank you guys so much for reading! Feel free to leave me your thoughts in the comments, and I'll see you guys next time!
> 
> ~Ash


End file.
